We've just begun...think I'm gonna have a son..."
Waiting Game
Our wedding behind us, Lani and I settled into a weekly routine: We both had our jobs Monday through Friday. Hers at a travel agency in Santa Barbara and me at the photo lab. The weekend would roll around and we would visit friends or go to her parents' house. My "friends" weren't really all that close to me. I had met these folks through cousin Joe, and thought they were fun to hang out with I never felt I had much in common with them. That became really apparent when I found out that a few of them were heavily into cocaine abuse. Not just snorting it, which we all did from time to time, but shooting up as well.
I loved to party. Straight out of military school I was always looking for a good time. Drinking, smoking dope and doing uppers and coke was a great ride for dysfunctional me. I had held a handful of menial jobs without much enthusiasm for
any of them except the record store. (And we remember how that turned out!) Now I was a "family man" with a kid on the way. I never really gave thought to cutting back on the partying until later on. It eased the pressure the little guy in my head was putting me under. "This is all going to come to shit, Ed. Not worthy, not worthy." I still had no answer except "Shut up and drink."Lani was showing her pregnancy more and more each day, and she was having morning sickness. By her 20th birthday in June she told me she couldn't work any more, especially with the long drive from Ventura. That made me the Man. That began the series of changes in me that brought my psyche into the realm of Parenthood, Responsibility, and Duty. I was going to work my balls off to support my wife and child, damn the torpedoes and all that crap. We couldn't afford medical insurance so we applied for Medi-Cal. That gave us the funds we needed to cover Lani's prenatal care and hospital costs. It also meant that every three months I had to go to the Medi-Cal offices and prove I was still too broke to pay for this stuff myself. I considered it humiliating to have to answer questions about my job, my motivation, my family. But it also meant that the baby would be born healthy and that made the difference.
We took Lamaze Method classes to get an idea of what to expect when the baby came. The whole thing came down to this: She manages pain by focusing on the breath (Good old Buddha!) and he takes his mind off how disgusting (I mean beautiful!) the whole thing is by....taking notes! And giving ice chips, gentle massage, and thanks to his Maker he wasn't born a woman. Lani and I sat through the classes, talked about baby names and tried not to imagine what our fellow classmates looked like while conceiving their bundles o' joy. Not pretty.
The Summer came and went and then Indian Summer came and stayed. The fires flared up in the hills near Ojai, scattering ash over downtown Ventura like Christmas in September. The baby kicked and squirmed, sometimes poking me as I lay close to Lani, both she and I nervous and excited about the impending arrival. One morning in mid October we woke up to a beautiful sunrise, the sound and smell of the surf so clear it filled us with joy. A joy that translated into some very amorous entwining. Oh yes, sex with your pregnant wife is a unique and unforgettable experience. Fade to black.....
Later that day we decided to go for a hike in the nearby hills. The baby was almost two weeks overdue and Lani wanted it out now. So we picked up and headed out on the trail. The sun shone down and we walked for hours, enjoying the day we'd been given. On the way back to the house we stopped at a shoreline park and strolled out toward the marshlands. Less than a mile from the car Lani said: "I think we should be getting back."
"Yeah, my legs are pretty tired, too."
"No. Not just that. I'm starting to feel something like contractions."
You know that scene in the cartoons where the cat gets hit in the head with a hammer and he gets that stupid look on his face? Yeah, that was my brain right then. So, she really is pregnant and we're gonna have a baby right now!? I helped her back to the car and tried to stay on the road and not speed getting back to the house. When we got there I told Joe what the deal was and that we had to pack up and go. Our buddy Danner was there and asked if I wanted a sandwich. I stood thinking for a second: "Am I hungry? It has been a while since I ate. Maybe it would be a good idea to...."
"ED!"
Lani called up the stairs to me and all thoughts of food flew right away. What a doofus, man. Your wife needs to get to the hospital!
The Grand Entrance
We were timing the contractions. They were coming at about 8 minutes apart and getting stronger, so we knew we had a little time. We got to Community Memorial Hospital about 7PM and checked right in. I was diligently taking notes, timing contractions, asking questions of the staff, talking to Lani. Thought I had things pretty much under control until the whole process went into overdrive. No time between contractions. "Stop asking me how strong they are!" Nurses pushing me aside to monitor the fetal heartbeat and tend to Lani. Now I was just a spectator. But at least they let me stay in the room. To my credit I didn't flag at all, even at that most precious moment when my brand new son entered the world at 2:45 AM on October 19. It was all slow motion, fine detail, sharpened senses. This pink, crying child that resembled a slimy Edward G. Robinson in miniature was my boy, my first child.They lifted him onto Lani's chest and we shared a few moments sharing the incredible
residual energy that remained after all her effort. Then they took Peter Joseph Hokule'a Newbegin away to clean him up and get all the proper measurements before we could see him again. I Walked out into the waiting area to tell Neal that he had a grandson and we shared a hug. A rare thing for us, but a bonding moment nonetheless. I called my folks and sisters, sharing tears and happiness. The very next day we brought little "PJ" home to Silver Strand to begin our new lives as Mom and Dad.
Chapter 36: Parental Discretion Advised
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