Chapter Thirty-Four: Weddin' Bells

"We got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout...." J. Cash

With the tough task of telling the folks about our impending nuptials and parenthood, all that remained was to plan the wedding. We decided on April 19, 1980, mostly because we didn't want the wedding photos to make it too obvious that Lani was in the family way. I always thought that photos like that I saw at the lab were kind of sad. Something just short of a shotgun wedding.

Clever lad that I was, I decided to take on the task of ordering the announcements myself, just to take the burden off my bride to be. Yeah, I heard the groan from you there. "Oh, Ed, what were you thinking?" Indeed. I went to the stationery store I used to work at and spoke to the old lady that presided over the Special Events Stationery Department. She asked me where my fiancee was and I told her she was at work so I was doing this on my own. That got me the first rather pitying look. She showed me several patterns and fonts, envelopes and colors. It was all rather daunting but in the end I believed I came up with a very nice announcement. I told her how I would like it to read and spelled out our names and those of our parents. Then she asked me when the wedding was planned.

"April 19."

"All right, that gives us plenty of time. April 19, 1981."

"Uh, no. This year."

Another look, this one sharply suspicious. "This year?"

"Yes."

"Dear, that only gives you a few weeks to send out the invitations. They won't be ready for at least two weeks."

"OK." Clueless.

The rest of the transaction was cold and nearly silent. I walked out still not knowing quite what the problem was. Ah, youth.

I got home and told Lani and her Mom that the announcements were all taken care of. Cold stares. "What?" That's when I learned the lesson so many young men need to know well beforehand: It's her wedding, stupid. Never do anything without permission!"

Over the next six weeks we contacted all our friends and family to let them know, hoping many of them could come out to California for the wedding. I had to choose a Best Man, and I decided that my old buddy Bill Stewart should be at my side for this joyous occasion. Lani's friends were all coming out from Hawaii. Turns out that early pregnancies are not that uncommon in Hawaiian culture and don't have the same stigma as my more provincial East Coast upbringing had dictated. So all these wahines were usually ready to pack up and go off to another wedding at the drop of a hat.

A couple of days before the wedding Mom and Dad flew in to LAX late in the evening. I had just come home from work and had to drive down there to pick them up. While my adrenaline was pumping I was still pretty tired from work, so one of my beach buddies offered me some speed pills to keep me going. He handed me five tiny white pills and I popped them into my mouth without a second thought. Off to the airport!

About 30 minutes later I started feeling sick to my stomach. I had sharp pains and a really jittery rush was starting up in my body. I was worried that I would hurl at any moment but I kept it under control until we got to LAX. When we got to the terminal I raced into the bathroom and spewed the second I got to the toilet. There were thin strands of blood in it. Oh, shit, what have I done?

We met Mom and Dad and I hardly remember the ride back. I know I drank some milk and tried not to think I had seriously poisoned myself. Like the clever dude I was, I just ignored it and hoped it would go away. Through dumb luck, nothing more went wrong.

Then came the Day. Lani's friends had stayed up all night making beautiful leis for us and all the family members. They had gone around town buying up every single bouquet offered by the street corner vendors, and the results were incredible, as you can see. Bill and I went to a local hair place to get our style on and nothing was going to stop me from being on time for the wedding, including a red light or two.

The ceremony was beautiful, the weather warm and sunny. We were surrounded by family and friends and the food just kept coming. Good stuff. My buddy Chip Jorgensen was there along with cousin Joe and ourgroup of ne'er-do-well friends. They wrote crazy stuff all over my car and filled it with balloons. It was several days before I had a chance to clean it and the funniest thing was the day I had to drive around with my father-in-law Neal with "Just Married" all over it. Got some looks.

Lani and I went back to her folks' house ahead of the group and had some time to sort of decompress, getting used to the idea that we were now Husband and Wife. To me it was the logical extension of the great swell of emotion I felt any time I was in her presence. That feeling stayed with me always.

Because of work obligations and a general lack of funds we didn't have much of a honeymoon. We stayed one night at the Ventura Holiday Inn and went to Solvang the next day with my parents. It's a Norwegian-themed village in the Southland hills that tries to dig cash out of tourists like any kitchy place does. It was a miserably cold day and I got in a spat with Mom over some silly crap from my childhood. Then they were gone and it was back to work.

Our next Batter: #35, Peter Newbegin