It’s been a while since I could sit down and put the next chapter into words and do it justice. I think that’s because it represents one of the big turning points of my life. In fact, I’m going to bring this part of my “Life Blog” to an end as soon as this part is done. I’ll call it Book One. Not that things changed radically all at once, but I definitely went in another direction after Jan and I met.
Date One
I was pretty damn nervous as I wheeled my Nerdmobile Ford Maverick (no heater included) into the Video City parking lot that Friday night. I hadn’t been on anything like a real date in many months and my self- confidence was at a low ebb. Did I still have the flashing red light on my head? Only time would tell.
I picked up Jan and we headed out to the comedy club. I picked that as a safe place since I knew she at least had a sense of humor. On the way to the club we exchanged the usual small talk. She asked me about my kids and I told her about PJ and Jessica. She got a strange look on her face but I didn’t ask about that. Then she told me about a funny thing that had happened at the store. One of her co-workers had a cat that had had kittens. She couldn’t keep the litter at her home so she brought hem to the store to give them away. Her sales pitch consisted of handing the customer their movie then reaching into the box behind the counter, saying “OK, here’s your tape and here’s your kitten!” It worked, and she was able to give them all away in a day. They were strange cats, too. Each one had six toes.
We got to the club and saw that the star that night was Chicago Steve. I had heard him riffing with a local DJ on a San Francisco rock station so I knew he was funny. We settled in, got our drinks and chuckled at the warmup acts. Then Chicago Steve came onstage. He got us going with a snappy routine, getting lots of laughs. Then he told us about a true funny story that had happened to him at his local video store: “I went up to the counter to get my movie, right? So the girl behind the counter hands me my tape and says: ‘Here’s your movie and here’s your kitten!’ How weird is that? Here’s the kicker: the cat had six toes!” I looked at Jan, “Tell me you know this guy. You set this up, right?” “No”, she said, “I’ve never seen this guy before.”
Later on Steve was riffing away and pointed at Jan and me. “Hey, you two together?” We looked at each other. “What’s the matter, not sure yet?” No, not yet.
After the show Jan told me why she had looked a little startled when I mentioned my kids’ names. Seems that years before she had decided that if she had a boy and a girl she would name them Peter and Jessica. Guess that put those two names out of the running. Besides, who said we were ever going to get married?
I got her home and we sat out front talking for a bit. Then came the “Well, OK, goodnight”, “Goodnight”, etc. I turned to give her a kiss on the cheek and she turned to kiss me not on the cheek and wham! I stuck my nose in her eye. Smooth operator, that’s me. A quick peck and she was gone. Date number one over.
Next day I figured the best thing to do would be to send flowers to her at work with a nice note. I’m sure her coworkers were suitably impressed. This was a real change from the all-consuming passion that marked the beginning of my previous relationship. Much quieter, but it felt warm and non life-threatening.
Yeah, I’m a Hero
Jan had moved out to California from the Midwest with a group of friends. An interesting lot, including one fellow who decided he was going to run the show. There was Jan, her best friend Carrie, another girl and the two guys, including Mister All That. Jan and I went on another date at a local burger joint and I had a chance to meet them all, including Carrie's brother Andy. I got the sense that the group did what MAT wanted to do. There were "rules" around the house about who got to get high and when, a routine for watching TV and a certain watchfulness on group behavior. I represented a change from that norm, and MAT was not happy with my presence. I liked to comment on movies, be spontaneous; you know, be human.
One day I called Jan and got a busy signal. Then I called again. And again. After about 90 minutes of this I said "Screw it" and drove over there. "Somebody" at the house had left the phone off the hook and I knew who that was. I spent a lot of time over there and made my contempt for him and the groupies obvious. Carrie and Jan were pretty happy that things were starting to change, and finally the stalemate broke. MAT, along with the other girl and guy, decided to move out, citing all sorts of terrible transgressions and personal hurts. Damn shame.
I was living with the meth freak and now we could all solve our problems by jettisoning the people who were dragging us down. I told the girls:"And the windows will be thrown open, the sun will shine upon our faces and the birds will sing. This is the beginning of a new day."
Odds & Ends
Living in the house on Hillsborough Avenue in Concord, CA was a time of healing, transition, and downright weirdness at times. For our first Christmas together I got Jan a set of earrings. I put them in a nice little box then put that box in a giant TV box filled with paper and weighted down with a tool box full of rocks.
So many other memories, best done in montage: The night Haley's Comet came and we all floated through the neighborhood, nearly suffocated in our house and watched the sun come up over Mount Diablo. The day the ceiling fell in while my ex was there picking up the kids. My very brief rapprochement with Lani. Buying my kickass Toyota 4x4. Continuing my hop from lab to lab. An epic Halloween party where I seared my nostrils on some truly bad speed. Going back to Virginia for the SMA reunion. I decided to ask Jan to marry me on that trip. A very nice wedding indeed. A garden of delights, literally! Home improvement projects, kids, pets, Little League, soccer, judo, schools, teachers, coaches.........the mind boggles. Where did the time go?
Oh yeah, and the time we rescued Mervyn. You remember, the cat that my evil roomie was abusing. I went to Sacramento to visit relatives and while I was there Jan stole him from the witch girl and we raised him as our own. He lived to nearly 13 years old, pretty good when you consider the treatment he had received.
I felt stronger every day, and Jan and I had a relationship that was growing the way a good one should. We had started as friends and took it one day at a time. Boring? We are still together to this day, partners in Life.
"And in the End
The Love you Take
Is Equal to the Love You Make"
End of Book One
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