Early Reunion
Pete came down from New York a couple of weeks after graduation. He stayed at the house and we went to a concert. Beach Boys and Chicago. This was back when Terry Cath was still alive and the Beach Boys hadn't turned into geriatric parodies of themselves. We sat in our seats there at the Capitol Center in Largo, Maryland, digging the rock n' roll and smoking some really fine weed Pete had brought.
Suddenly I felt a vigorous tapping on my shoulder. I turned around to see a woman with a hairstyle right out of the 50's glaring at me angrily."Put that shit out or I'm going to call a cop!"
Yeesh! OK, OK, don't bust a blood vessel. We're buzzed enough as it is, don't harsh it now. Pete went back home and we promised to stay in touch. Didn't quite work out that way but I did have a surprise for him just a few years down the line.
The 18 Year Old Virgin
While working another boring shift at High's one day, a couple of young ladies came in to pick up some things. I recognized one as Debbie R., who had been one year ahead of me at Madison. She recognized me as well and we spent some time chatting about what we'd been doing since I left for military school. She gave me her number and told me she'd like to go out with me some time. Wow! I was never the ladies man type, so being hit on like that was very....encouraging.
I called Debbie a few days later and we went out to dinner. We talked about this and that. She asked me about my time at SMA and I told her a couple of stories. She asked if we dated town girls. I told her about Stuart Hall. She said:
"It must have been hard to sneak away for a little fun."
"Well, uh, yeah. I dated a couple of girls but nothing serious."
"So you never....."
"No."
"With anyone?"
Geez, what do you think I mean?
"Um, no."
"Hm."
We had a few more dates, sometimes ending up at her place, but nothing...serious...ever happened. It seemed like she was waiting for just the right moment. Yeah, sure, I've got all the patience in the world. Shoot, I'm not going to college for another, let's see, six weeks. Take your time. No problem. I'll just - when are we going to do it!!!
Camping. We're going camping. I told Mom and Dad what was up and they sat me down for an earnest talk.
"Son, I hope while you're on this little outing you know enough to use some...protection."
"Dad, she's on the Pill."
"Oh."
So much for that. I look back now and it seems so nostalgic that all we really had to worry about was pregnancy. Sure, there were STD's, but a course of penicillin and it was all better. Those were the days.
Debbie and I borrowed a camper trailer from her parents and we were off. We ended up at a shoreline campground in Eastern Virginia and set things up. I was feeling really diligent about getting camp set up. Firewood, sweep out the camper, food wherever it's supposed to be. Yeah. What else? Don't be nervous! Ah, man, why did I even think that? Dinner is done. We walk around the campground, look at the water, go back and sit around the fire. And then she said, it's time for bed.
To say that things didn't go as planned would be an understatement worthy of "Houston, we have a problem." In more ways than one. Oh, Debbie was so very understanding, as women through the ages have felt it their duty to be. She left to go to the restroom and I cursed my fate. To have it all right in front of me and be denied left me frustrated and angry. I lost my faith in the Deity and let him know it. Which is pretty ironic, no? I spent a restless night wondering what was wrong with me.
The next day we did all the little touristy things couples do at the shore: Walking on the beach, checking out tacky shops, making a nervous lover feel better about himself. All that stuff. Then it was dinner at a seafood house. Debbie made sure we had just enough wine to get me feeling sexy without going too far, and we topped it off with a plate of fresh oysters on the half shell. She told me it was a great aphrodisiac, and you know something...it was.
Next morning I decided that I wanted to try out this new "hands-free" form of pleasure again and Debbie was happy to oblige. It was great fun, though I noticed a clanking noise that seemed to be matching our rhythm. Didn't bother me and we proceeded on. Afterward I hopped out of the camper and noticed the clanking again. It was the Coleman lantern that was hanging from the awning attached to the camper. Apparently it was swinging back and forth while all the action was going on, acting like a clapper on a bell. I stood there for a moment while the notion of that sank in. I heard some people talking in the campsite next door and looked over. It was a couple and their kids getting ready to head out for the day. I looked at the Dad and gave him a wave. He shook his head, winked and wagged his finger at me. Oh, man.
Next, on "24": Tales of the Old Dominion
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