Chapter Thirteen- SMA: Un/Forgettable People

I promise I'll get back to the story soon. I want to introduce the reader to some significant people I crossed paths with at SMA.

I am He as You are He as You are Me and We are All Together


Major Wease
One of the all-around best teachers I ever had. He taught American Government in my Senior year and I learned more about the workings of our bicameral system than I ever imagined. He held our attention through sheer breadth of knowledge and a quietly understated authority. He also had eyes in the back of his head. He would face the board and write, and if he had a sense you weren't paying attention he would simply say your name: "And so the Founders believed in a balance of powers, Mr. Newbegin.." "Yes, sir?" "...to ensure against any one branch, Mr. Hutton.." "Yes, sir?" "...becoming too powerful." Eventually we caught on and didn't automatically answer, though sometimes he did ask a question. So one had to beware. Whenever a Government exam was scheduled for the following day, the attendance reports at formation for Third Mess went "Beat the Wease, sir, all present and accounted for!" He still teaches at Fishburne Military School and had been honored by an endowed chair.

Major Neilson
Senior year English. "The Maj" was a very tough customer in class. He stood outside as we entered the classroom, talking with other teachers or a cadet. When class began he would stride into the room and we all had to snap to attention by our desks. He would act as if we weren't there for a bit, then glance around and say: "Be seated". Absolute silence had to be observed while he taught unless he asked for free discussion. I really lucked out getting him in Senior year. He was disgusted by a study that showed how few college freshman had basic English skills, so our entire first semester was remedial studies. My favorite! Second semester was classical literature, another favorite. He graded on a curve and I became a little unpopular due to my higher grades on tests. I think my classmates understood how important it was for me to be doing well for a change.

Major Johnson
Junior year American History. His nickname was "Skeeter", and he would not so much teach history as tell the story of it as if he'd been there. I had to repeat one semester of his class as well, but it was a pleasure. One day before a test, a cadet approached me in the bathroom to tell me he had a key to the multiple-choice portion, worth about 75% of the test. I copied it on a small strip of paper and put it under my Senior ring. The irony of that was not lost on me, and I took it out and swallowed it about a half hour into the exam. I never once looked at it and good thing, too. The two guys who used it were busted for cheating because they had the wrong key and identical answers. They got demoted and had to repeat the test. Major Johnson passed away in the late 90's. Here is our tribute to him.

Colonel McKracken
I never had the Colonel as a teacher, but some yahoo decided to start calling him "Coach", which angered him no end. So of course any time he was around, guys would start yelling "Coach, hey Coach" until he went apoplectic. Such good lads.




Major Kiester
Another teacher we loved to torment in my Junior year. The guys in his class called him "Rabbit". (Thanks, Mr. Nelson) That's why there's a little bunny head drawn on his lab coat. The guys would try to see if we could make him cry, and sometimes did. He didn't come back the next year. Wonder why.



Lieutenant Greenwood
As mentioned before, a really cool cat. He was my Junior English teacher and yearbook adviser in my Senior year. He also provided transportation for one of the escapades I'll write about in a following chapter. He wasn't much older than we were, and I think he identified with our generation, though he was pretty tough when he wanted to be.


Major Burnette
My Spanish III teacher, junior year. As he talked about verb conjugation and proper tense he would pick his nose. Gross enough, but then he would roll it between his fingers while he talked to us, creating a little ball of gluey snot that was very hard to ignore. We nicknamed him "Booger Burnette".



Colonel Love
Der Kommandant in my Senior year. A blustery Regular Army officer who presided over a very trying time for me at the end of my stay at SMA. He was not nearly as strict as our previous Commandant, LCDR Harris, who kicked out so many cadets. We loved calling Harris "Captain Crunch".



Sgt. Graham
Good ol' boy from down South. He was the military adviser to A Company and had a very wry sense of humor. Jim Lange played the part of Sgt. Graham in our Christmas play "A Day in the Life of the Military Sciences Office". More on that later.



Sgt. Gibson
Looked, acted and sounded like an American bulldog. He was a strict "lifer" Master Sergeant who would bellow out critiques on our appearance, attitude and aptitude at any time of the day. One day I had forgotten to shave (all I ever had in high school was peach fuzz) before Sunday Parade. As we passed for review I heard him bellow "Newbegin, get a shave, you look like a damn cave man!" Memories. I had the balls to salute him with my left hand every time I saw him and he never once busted me for it. Why did I poke that bear? It was in my nature. Couldn't help it.

Colonel Moon
The gentleman responsible for accepting me to SMA. All in all he was a nice fellow. He's passed away now, pinching angels instead of cadets.






Captain Davis
Senior Army Instructor in my Senior year. Quite simply the most pathetic excuse for a Regular Army officer ever to darken SMA's hallowed halls. His uber-military persona and ridiculous appearance earned him the nickname "Captain Howdy", for Howdy Doody. The sergeants in the Military Sciences Department were embarrassed to be seen with him and you could see the pain on their faces to be associated with this clown. He was infuriated by my portrayal of him in the Christmas play and he did what he could to have me singled out if I slipped even a little. When I slipped Big Time he led the charge to have me kicked out. In SMA's final year, 1976, he was relieved of duty after striking a former cadet during Alumni Weekend. Last laughs are the best.

Coming up: A Great New Start!