Where I Stand

Just over a week ago we had a national election. It pitted the incumbent, one Barack Hussein Obama, against the former governor of Massachusetts, Willard Mitt Romney. A lot of divisive talk before, during, and after the election.

I have been a softball and baseball umpire for over twenty years and I have belonged to several amateur associations, covering every level from youth to college ball. Here is an email I received from one of the Board of Directors of that association. He is responsible for training and recommending members for post season assignments, the playoffs. To wit:

"I am so  depressed.


I've always talked about how the animals have taken over the zoo in our country but in my heart I really didn't want to believe it. I couldn't imagine that such class envy existed that once the government and the people on the receiving end of our tax money realized how dire our finances that they would be willing to see the country go down an economic and moral rat hole rather than give up their own freebies and start providing for their own needs and not expect those that produce to pay more and receive less.

I was wrong.

I also didn't believe that the "takers" would ever reach a number large enough to gain control from the "payers".

I was wrong again.

All my concepts of this country have been wrong.

Our children and grandchildren can no longer feel confident that with effort and diligence their lifestyle will be better than ours.

We can longer feel safe from unwarranted government intrusion into our personal lives. I no longer feel that the government has the best interest in mind of the people and our country.

I no longer trust our bank or financial institutions.

I don't trust our food supply.

We can't trust the companies that we have worked to make successful for years won't, with little or no notice, announce that they are moving our job to China.

Our roads are crumbling and electrical system failing as the government gives away free cell phones to millions of people (but you have to be a"taker" and not a "payer" to get one) while at the same time telling us who are struggling to get by that we aren't paying enough. "You want roads you can safely travel on?" "That will cost you more."

Our courts are now ruling on cases using Sharia law. Our Supreme Court Justices base their rulings on what kind of legacy they'll leave. Can you trust the courts to rule with common sense and the best interest of society in mind? I don't.

I have turned into a full blown cynic.

The list goes on and on and just gets longer every day.

And all we have to look forward to is 4 more years of unqualified,inept leadership that has repeatedly expressed his disdain for this county and its people.

Thanks for listening.

I'll probably feel better in a couple of weeks after I get over the disbelief of what happened yesterday.

But right now....... I'm so depressed.

I think I speak for many of US.....



Socialism is only good until you run out of other people's money:Margaret Thatcher   If I have offended anyone, get over it.  And if you want to unfriend me on FB, my feeling will not be hurt."

A lot to chew on, no? At first I was just pissed that he found it necessary to spew that stuff without provocation. Then it began to sink in that this guy used hi position to bully the rest of us, a line in the sand to test our loyalty. During a phone conversation with the President of the association I said the best thing he could do would be to offer a sincere apology for having abused his authority. Here's what popped into my inbox next day:

"I apologize for using the (association) mailing list to exercise my use of free speech which is currently guaranteed by the Constitution of the United States."

Pretty sincere, all right. I had a lot to think about. I had been with this association for several years and had been promised a spot, perhaps the plate assignment, for the state high school playoffs. I really enjoy the quality of the games, the great people I'm partnered with, the satisfaction of doing the job well. But this gentleman was going to be there year after year, droning on about Integrity, Professionalism, and Impartiality. What a load.  I had thought I might have a private communication between the President of the association and myself, but my wife, bleeding-heart Liberal and my true inspiration, rightly stated that this fool needed calling out publicly. It didn't take long for me to make a decision and send out a mass email of my own:

"I too am sorry (that guy). Free speech is indeed guaranteed by the Constitution but your abuse of the (association) mailing list was unprofessional and not in keeping with the role of an unbiased arbiter. This is a weak apology at best. I cannot respect an individual who uses a position of authority to force his opinions upon others unsolicited. In a private conversation or political forum I would welcome a debate, but not when an individual with certain administrative authority over me challenges my intelligence and states his disloyalty to our President with that language and at the risk of losing my status within the organization.

I therefor exercise my right to free speech by disassociating myself from the (association). It has been a pleasure working with the fair and unbiased among you. Thank you for the civics lesson, Mr. (that guy).

I have gotten many supportive emails and phone calls from the membership since then:

"Yep...that was total unwarranted garbage. Thanks for calling him on it!"

"Hello Ed this is (name withheld) i just received the forwarding emails yesterday and I just wanted to say that I don't know the whole thing on what happened but whatever happened really pissed you off, and if I haven't told you before I wanted to tell you now, that I really really respect you even more then I have ever before. Just for you standing up for what you believe in and on whats right and what's wrong. I've been trying to express myself the same way but can't get the results you do so for that reason YOU HAVE MY UTMOST RESPECT FOR NOW AND FOREVER YOU'RE A REAL GOOD MAN ED TAKE CARE AND GOOD LUCK AND WHEREVER YOU GO I WOULD LIKE TO FOLLOW."

"Thank you for so eloquently stating my sentiments."

"I wonder if exercising someone's 1st amendment rights would include forwarding "goose shit" emails to HS & College sports admins? Might the "goose" favor a republican coach? A son or daughter of known political persuasion? Should umpires join unions? YA think!?"

"I'm not going to get over your rant, and I resent that you felt it was
okay to use the (association) members e-mail list to spew your hate. I have
lost all respect for you.
I agree with all that Ed Newbegin voiced in his reply to you. I will
however, continue to be a working member of (association) if we can keep our
personal political views out of the classroom and off the field."

"I will send an email tomorrow to (president), copy (that guy), also resigning from (association).  I was also unhappy about the election, not because Obama won (I actually like him) because I hate the influence that the Citizen's United decision now has on elections, allowing both sides to raise unlimited funds to viciously attack the other side, instead of telling us their plan for the future and why we should elect them.  However, I would never chose to inflict my opinion on any group I was a part of!"


 And there you are. Since then my thoughts have turned on whether I went too far. But then I picture myself walking into the first meeting of the season, seeing that smug face, knowing that he harbors those hateful opinions and would not hesitate to inflict them on others. The hypocrisy of teaching us to be objective and professional when he himself cannot restrain his bile. No, sorry, can't do it.

I have been a devoted volunteer with my local Little League for many years, and now I can spend all the time I want helping kids become better people, better citizens. Better than that hateful man.

One: Five

The thick foliage made it difficult to move forward. How had the old woman gotten through this tangle of vines, leaves, and bushes? Roots seemed to rise up and catch at my feet, sending me sprawling onto the moist forest floor. It was as if the trees had closed ranks behind her to keep me from learning any more from her.

As the sun rose I could see more around me, though all was done in shades of green and brown. As I pulled yet another creeping vine from my face a bright yellow bird flew before me, making excited little noises before lighting on a branch above a small clearing. At the center stood a wonder such as my poor words cannot describe. It was a small plant, at least compared to the massive trees around me, with dark green leaves. The real wonder was the single flower perched in the center. It was of the purest white, and it shone as if the sun itself had been captured within.

I was filled with joy as I saw it, so much that I wanted to weep. I took one hesitant step forward. At that moment the bird sounded a single piercing note that I felt like an arrow through my heart. My vision blurred with tears, I took another step and began to feel the air about me tremble with a soft vibration. Another step forward and it filled the clearing, echoing off the massive trunks that surrounded me. Now I was right upon the flower and I reached out towards its perfect beauty.

All was dark.

One: Four

I thought to follow her, but she had vanished so quickly I had no way of knowing which direction to choose. I sat in her spot at the roots of the willow, pondering my fate. A wind rose in the trees, causing the birds to squawk and twitter noisily. The air seemed heavier, and darkness soon descended on my lonely shelter. I hunkered down among the roots, hoping sleep would come to me soon.

Some time deep in the night I awoke. I could see little, though all around me there were patches of yellow-green light. Foxfire. The word came to my mind, though I knew not where I had heard it. While I marveled at the sight, I noticed too that there was no sound in the forest. The wind had died down and the heaviness to the air pressed against me. There was a brief flicker of light, followed a few moments later by a low rumble.

Tock. Something had struck a leaf overhead. Tock, tock-tock, tock. More sounds. Now I felt a wet trickle on the back of my neck. Then all at once a great rush of water from the sky, a jagged flash of cold light and a mighty roar overhead that shook the earth beneath me. I curled up within the roots, fearful that some mythical beast was stalking me for the kill. The rain fell in torrents, soaking me through my thin clothing. I could do nothing but close my eyes and wait the storm out.

The rain fell for many hours before finally fading away, the rumbling in the sky now far off. Water dripped lazily from the leaves above, and the stream feeding the small pool nearby gurgled busily. I shivered in my wet clothing, but soon exhaustion took me again and I fell into a dreamless sleep.

One: Three

"Late for what?"

A breeze stirred the branches of the willow and I thought I heard the sound of soft laughter in its leaves. The old woman said nothing, but only looked at me impassively, as if sizing me up. I picked up the sack at my feet and tried to guess what might be inside.

"What is this?", I asked.

"Well it's a big, slimy snake that will eat you up, isn't it?", she said with a gleam in her eye.

I shook the sack but nothing seemed to be moving within, so I emptied it on the ground. There before me lay a small loaf of bread, a cloth-wrapped cheese, and an apple. I remembered suddenly how hungry I was and spent awhile tearing into the bread and taking bites of cheese between mouthfuls of the soft loaf. I pocketed the apple for later. When I had finished my simple meal I drank from the pool and sat back to watch the old woman.

"Thank you", I said.

"A small thing, lad. You have a long journey ahead of you."

"Do you know me?"

"I know that I had to be here now to give you what you needed. And now I will go. The light is fading and these old bones have to rest."

With that she rose from the roots of the willow and turned to go.

"Wait! Where am I going? I don't even know who I am! Can't you help me?"

The old woman turned back toward me slowly. She looked up into the high trees and pointed toward the green canopy above.

"The birds know. When you need answers you can always ask them."

She smiled slightly at this and shuffled slowly into the ferns, the sound of her footsteps gone as she vanished.

One:Two

The green ferns seemed to go on forever. With no idea where I was going I began to lose hope. My skin was hot and irritated by scratches from branches and thorns. The hunger in my stomach and soul were painful, and thirst consumed me. The world was now no more than heat, the sounds of the forest, and my own labored breath. My vision became blurred and I fell heavily to the ground, weeping into the warm moss.

For how long I lay there I do not know, but soon I heard the faint sound of water. I dragged my weary body up to a tall tree and propped myself against it, trying to discover the source of the sound.

Now it came to me more clearly, and I raised myself up and stumbled, half-blind, through the stalks and leaves in the hope of finding water. Each plant seemed to reach for me, tearing into my flesh. I grunted and moaned while the oppressive heat seared my thoughts. The sound of the water became my sole focus. If I could only reach it I would be saved. I burst suddenly into a clearing and before I could stop myself I pitched forward into a pool of clear, cool water.

I was coughing and spluttering, the shock of cold taking my breath away. As I fought to keep from drowning I saw an old woman sitting on the far bank within the roots of an ancient willow. Her dress was plain and she had a small sack by her side. She eyed me closely but said nothing as I thrashed about. When I had finally had my fill to drink and the cold had become bearable I waded back to my side of the pool and sat upon the pebbled shore. The old woman picked up the sack and tossed it at my feet.

"You're late," she said.

One: One

When my eyes were opened I thought at first that I was blind. The air was warm and still around me, and I could hear the faint sounds of small creatures scratching and moving through dried leaves. Bird calls echoed over my head. I was afraid, for I knew not who or where I was. I was joyful, for no reason other than my freedom.



As I sat, a soft greenish light began to illuminate the space around me. I saw that I was in a great forest, with trees arching hundreds of feet above me and ferns closer by massed and marching off into the distant wood.



I did not know where to go from the log upon which I sat, but a hunger soon rose in me. Not just for food but a hunger to know more. Without a map or compass, I rose and waded through the greenery in search of answers...

Time in a Bottle

"But there never seems to be enough time to do the things you want to do once you find them..."



Over the last few years I have become aware that no matter how "young at heart" I feel, Time the Avenger is beginning to whistle his tune on a park bench somewhere in my neighborhood. As of this writing I am 54 years...old, but in fine health and good spirits. Good job, great family, own my house (in loose cooperation with The Bank, of course), and lots of fun things to do on the side.

Yet still strange thoughts have entered my cranium: I am a small boy in Connecticut and I am watching a young woman (Mom?) hanging the wash out to dry on a square clothes hanger outdoors. I can smell the clean, damp linen as it snaps in the cool breeze, hear the slight creak of each wooden clothespin as she attaches more items to the lines. The sky is impossibly blue, studded with puffy white clouds.

The woman is happy at her work, and she smiles at me from time to time. It must be Mom. that's the face that keeps popping in there. I am sitting on the green, green grass, thinking only of the very moment I keep remembering. The whole scene is barely five minutes or so but I could watch it for hours.

It occurs to me that this may be the last image I see before the guy with the scythe beckons me to The Other Side.

And that's.....OK.